deep-dish pizza off the deep end

American society loves to watch and contribute to the fall of the most conservative and wholesome. Our disturbing interest in Linsay Lohan--once child star playing both Parent Trap twins, now in and out of rehab/jail--lies in our subconscious desire to tear down those who appear pure, innocent, or otherwise untainted by our society. Therein lies a niche fascination with the Amish. Such an abstinent and self-sacrificing people must have a great desire to succumb to the sins of modern society, right? That is what we hope to find, but in fact, after a foray in the outside world, they often choose to return to the ascetic, rural life their parents chose for them. A fantastic episode of This American Life tells this story, among others.

I'm thinking that if everyone hears the devil on their shoulder, we all hope that others will succumb to him/her before we do, thus retaining some sense of self-integrity. So if Lindsay Lohan and I were both innocent adolescents around the same time, but now she is addicted to god-knows-what and violating her parole, and I am only a slightly-ruined woman with no jail time or drug addictions to speak of, then I win in this social competition. And winning is important. If we can imagine that even the Amish hear the devil on their shoulder, it helps us feel like they aren’t winning. This social phenomenon is perhaps what has sparked what I will call a fad, for lack of a better word, of Amish Romance novels. I came across an entire rack of them, by at least a half-dozen different authors, at WinCo once.

Obviously the parallel between vegetarians and the Amish is limited, but in a way, people who do not restrict their diet who like to entice vegetarians to eat meat, are sort of like those who secretly want the Amish to try gambling or something. If you can entice a more conservative person to do what you do, it makes what you do way more socially acceptable.

My family has been trying to entice me to eat meat for most of my vegetarian years. So, the fact that last night I ate and enjoyed a slice or two of deep-dish pizza with a large slab of house-made Italian sausage at Masa, will come as a big surprise and shock to most people who know me, especially my sisters. Likely, they will be pleased to find that I have succumbed to the earthly pleasure of flesh, and will quit eating things like meatless Buffalo wings, at least for the time being. In my family, this will make me a bit like Lindsay Lohan: the vegetarian sister who finally goes off the meat-eating deep end.